They seem kind of slow, but you can be assured that they will always make time for taking the garbage out.

Whoops, I accidentally deleted my comment. Here’s the link again for posterity: https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf

This sounds like something James Mickens would write.

My favourite by him: The Night Watch (PDF)

And then some uppity moderator of some Discord channel for a niche mod for some game gets pissed at users for asking the same question repeatedly, when it’s not obvious at all from any non-Discord source.

Looking at you, Our Summer Car -_-