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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • And over here, we have the Drama-Bitch habitat. If you listen carefully, you can hear its over-exaggerated mating call. This species is interesting because it evolved a unique vision mechanism: it can only see the world in extreme shades of white and black. Scientists currently think this is due to generations of inbreeding. When threatened with any kind of nuance, it resorts to the loud braying from which it gets its name; an overdramatic lament of how the world will turn into a literal hellscape if it doesn’t get its way. It’s incapable of understanding how absurd it sounds, and insists on being taken seriously, even though its wailings are too idiotic to even begin to engage with.

    HEY! SIR! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T TAP ON THE GLASS! You get it started and it’ll disappear into its pillow fort and scream literally all day long!

    Moving on…