An email isn’t a phone call… If I email you at 4:00 AM it’s because I’m working at 4:00 AM, not because I expect you to be working at 4:00 AM.

I, uh, wasn’t 7. I was about 10 years older than that and just dumb.

Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

She did not think that was romantic.

I thought it was blood and it took me a little while to figure out what was actually going on.